"Sea Gull Six" and "They Took My Sofa!!"

30 Jul

It looks like a silhouette of "Indiana Jones"

            Now that I am out at Al Asad, I am starting to think that I will be here a while.  There are a lot of moving parts in the works and there is a lot of “stuff” that is moving out here, as well as people.  The leadership or “faux leadership” as I like to call it, doesn’t exercise an “out in front” or “from behind” type leadership.  The way that some have described it is “Seagull” leadership.  The reasoning is that seagulls come into an area, make a lot of noise squawking and ruffling their feathers; they crap all over the place and then they fly away.  Not to mention they maintain a “mine, mine, mine, mine” type attitude.  That is the best way to describe the leadership at HQ on the ground right now.  They micro manage so much and they have to have a finger on every button.  The other day, I had the luxury of working 18 hrs...half at my job and the other half (at night) in the Joint Operations Center (JOC).  I spent most of the night sitting next to “Sea Gull 6” (that’s what we call him) and SGM Huah-Airborne...and I will tell you, it was pretty comical.  These guys are characters, and they didn’t even talk to me until they left, which was close to 10:30pm.  I stayed until midnight, and all was calm...especially after the leadership went home.

Time to bring out the "boonie cap"

            One of the perks about working in the Staff compound is that we have our own gym.  The gym is not as big and fancy as most gyms, but it does the trick for someone like me that is doing P90X and other various activities.  Tonight however, I went to the pool.  The pool is indoor, Olympic-sized, room temperature water, overall a very nice environment.  For most days they have dedicated times to swim laps, and some nights they do Aqua Zumba and other activities like Water Polo...too bad that most of these activities fall during peak work hours for most of us.  Tonight they had a couple of lanes roped off and then the rest of the pool was open.  There were people playing volleyball, some Ugandans (not racist...these guys did not speak English) were learning how to swim, and of course the Army was doing PT.  It was very relaxing and I shall make that a weekly ritual...the perfect way to end a long week..

Day 60

5 Aug

My Alley

            It’s hard to believe that I have been in country now for 2 months...time is moving along.  My boss has now left for his R&R in the states earlier this week and Chief left just the other day, so that leaves 2 Air Force guys and one Army Maj running the J4 Trans shop.  I told LTC Pederson that when he gets back from his R&R, everything will be “blueified.”  He laughed, probably because he knew we would be so busy working Trans issues.  With mass movements comes movement of property, and sometimes person X’s property is more important than person Y’s property.  For instance, say person X has been waiting for a generator and other equipment that is needed to improve “quality of life.”  Well, person X can’t get their generator and other equipment because person Y felt it was imperative that they get their office/CHU furniture and equipment moved within the next couple of days.  Oh, by the way, person Y happened to talk directly to a certain 2 star general, so naturally, everyone is going to “knee-jerk” and meet person Y’s demands.  I get so sick of dealing with people who think they have a higher priority than other people/organizations.  I don’t care if it’s the “flippin” USF-I Commanding General, if I deem that someone else’s request is more important, I personally will do everything in my power to work around it...”Sorry, Gen Austin, you will just have to wait to get your vehicles...we have folks that have been without power for a couple of days.”  What’s sad is that the Generals are not the culprits...it’s the self-licking ice cream cone executive officers and aides that cause the problems...they ensure that “the General will get his way...”

Kind of like this one, except 200% more dust!

It’s the small things I find on deployments that brighten up your day.  For instance, on the way to Chow, we would pass this old black sofa that was partially burned, just sitting right next to the dumpster.  It was literally just gathering dust, and we were wondering when they would take it away.  So, every time I walked by it, I would leave a boot print somewhere on the couch.  I am really upset that I did not get a picture of it, because they took it away the other day.  I probably left close to 20 size 14 boot prints on that couch, and as people walked by it they would look at it, probably wondering who was stepping all over the couch.  Once again, it’s the small things that make life better in these conditions, and every once in a while someone seems to take even that away.  Oh well, there’s always XBOX night!!

Don't worry...it's not me, it's Call of Duty!!

"Thanks Saddam...Love what you've done with the place!!" and "You're Going to Love it Here""

So Long Chu # I 21-AB...I will not miss you

22 Jul

            “Al Asad...you’re going to love it here,” or at least that’s what KBR wants me to think.  My days at Victory Base Complex have come to an end and I have moved out west.  If you could think of a location out in the middle of nowhere, in the desert, and far away from any civilization, then you are probably thinking of some place in the Sahara Desert.  Al Asad is out in the middle of nowhere, and it is in the desert, but there is quite a bit of civilized life on this base.  There are no palaces, and no pristine man-made lakes, AND no Indirect Fire (IDF)...which after a couple of close-calls at Victory, I will take any day.  Let me go back to my departure at Victory.

            I laugh when people talk about their “horrible” experience on a plane trip in the states (I wrote this before you had your plane issues Gretchen).  People complain about sitting on a runway for 30 min in a decent HVAC environment.  Try having to load all of your (all the passengers doing this) bags in 120 degree Hotness, and then sitting in a C-130 OVEN for 45 min-1 hr waiting for takeoff, wearing full body armor.  That was my day, constantly loading/unloading bags and equipment, sweating, and finally reaching Al Asad...luckily it is a short plane ride.

...Teach a Man to Fish, and he won't BLOW up your convoy

            When we got here, we unloaded all of our stuff, got our brief about the base and headed to our new living arrangements.  After about 30 min of messing around with the key and the lock to my CHU, I finally got inside.  I was not issued any linen (they ran out), so CPT Rodgers (works with me) leant me some extras he had.  Although we are in the desert, it gets somewhat cold at night, and all I had for covers was a thin sheet.  I pulled out one of my ABU blouses, completely turned off the air, and then I was able to fall asleep.

26 Jul

           

   Man it gets DUSTY here!  We are located in a valley and the wind comes rolling in from the desert and brings a lot of dust with it.  I can’t walk around during the day without my sunglasses, and the 120 degree heat doesn’t help either.  The wind blows, but it is a blast of hot air across your face.  The first couple of days here were very uneventful.  I’m just about set up in my office, so I can continue normal operations.  One thing about this place is there is a lot “less” of stuff: Less choices at the Chow Hall, less scenery, less items at the BX/PX, and less BANDWITH.  It is quite a difference skyping with Gretchen here than doing it back at VBC.  It gets a little frustrating after a while, so we usually resort to just the audio chat, and every once in a while we bring up the cameras.  All is quiet on the Western Front, but at the same time, I do miss the perks of “Palace Life.”

That's ALL dust...and it gets worse!!

BATMAN sheets.....FTW!!!

            I went to church the other day and there were only 5 people.  We played recordings of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as our hymns, and with the Ugandan church service immediately after ours, we only have time to do Sacrament Meeting.  We are hoping that as more and more folks head out west, that maybe we can get some better attendance.  As I said earlier, there are not a whole lot of things out here, but what they do have is an indoor pool, a nice movie theater (too bad the projector quality sucks) that has a Green Beans (like Starbucks) and Subway, a pretty nice MWR set-up for watching TV, playing video games, etc., and a lot of “Haji” shops with pirated movies and TV shows.  There is an old soccer stadium that now is used as a running track (no grass or pavement, just dirt) and all the haji shops are housed under the stadium.  I am still questioning if I am truly going to “love it here,” but I am doing my best to make the most of it!

"FRAG-GO Rock" and "A Chance to Excel"

13 Jul

It either says "Sink Navy" or "Stink Navy"...

The Army has a funny way of performing C2 (Command and Control) operations...they come in the form of a “fragmentary order” or FRAGO.  Now these FRAGO’s are no joke; the Army breathes and lives by FRAGO’s...if there’s no FRAGO, there’s no action....You want to go to the bathroom at 2pm everyday...yep, put out a FRAGO!   There have been a lot of changes made to our processes over the last month, and with changes comes FRAGO’s.   Now, I will say that FRAGO’s are generated more as an ultimatum...when you can’t get someone to do something by just saying please.  Fortunately for our shop, we work with some pretty compliant organizations, which means we can relay a request and it is usually followed.  I think a lot of the compliance comes because they fear the FRAGO.

            Today I attended a memorial service for two folks that were killed by an explosively formed projectile (EFP).  Back in Alabama we would walk our students through simulated IED lanes and we would always tell the students about the EFP concept.  It’s a little different than an IED in that they use metal (usually copper) to cut through metal, so these things can penetrate HUMVEE doors, convoy trucks, etc.  They are very deadly and quite popular right now.  In the service, they showed a lot of pictures of the two and had various eulogies from commanders, platoon leaders, friends, etc.  It reminded me that although we are trying to get out of here, bad guys still want to kill us.  I also came to the conclusion: no matter how much evil there is in the world, there would always be sufficient “good” to offset it.  One thing that kind of concerned me about the funeral service was that the Chaplain touched on things like the resurrection, but really never associated it with the two young men.  I am thankful that I know and understand the eternal perspective.

17 Jul

"Lefty" eating a fruit loop

             

Crabs like fruit loops as well

One of my biggest leadership “pet peeves” is when someone masks a job or a task with the phrase “a chance to excel...”  For instance recently I was approached by Lt. Col Standridge (J4 Trans Deputy), about “an opportunity to excel” by basically being a travel agent for our move out west.  I get it, I am the Captain in the shop, lowest on the officer todem pole.  Just tell/order me to do something and I’ll do it.  Don’t add “a chance to excel;” what, have I not been “excelling” in the previous tasks that I have performed?  Rant aside, I have basically set up a small Installation Deployment Readiness Cell (used to run one up at Bolling AFB), where I can track flights, set up cargo load dates, and really take control of this process and keep the Army from “screwing” it up.  So, yes...I will be out of Victory soon and after the last couple of nights I am really glad. 

Friday I was coming home from work and the gym and as I got to the final bus stop, I heard the sirens.  They had us evacuate the bus and hit the dirt.  There were probably 4 or 5 “Incoming, Incoming” announcements and I could hear some “booms” in the distance.  That was the first time I was outside during the alarms, which freaked me out a little, because I was nowhere near a bunker to take cover.  Now when people ask me how I am doing, I reply, “well, I’m not shot and I’m not blown up, so I must be having a good day!”  I do this is in jest, but to some degree it seems like you are either lucky or VERY unlucky when it comes to indirect fire.

...You're Welcome Ladies!!!

SOOO much better than the Chow Hall!!

            Last night I got to hang out with one of my Major buddies from CAST (pre-deployment training).  He and several others from the J3/J2 staff have a BBQ every Sunday evening to just sit and talk, network with other people, and overall just relax after a hard week’s work.  One LTC who was there coined the days in Iraq as “365 days of Monday;” so true!!

Happy Birthday America...and "You're Fired"

5 Jul

You have to have a Pool Pass

Since yesterday was the 4^th of July, I was given half the day off.  Originally, it was supposed to be the full day, but we had to come in for the morning Commander’s Update, knock out a few projects with loose ends, and then since it was such a nice day, I decided to walk home, passing by the pool at Freedom Rest to gather some intel and do some Recon.  When I got home, I slept for about 2 hours, played Xbox, watched a movie and skyped with Gretchen.  In the late afternoon, I hit Freedom Rest, a “club med” for those passing through Victory Base Complex.  Folks that are in other areas can get a 4 day pass to Victory and stay at Freedom Rest.  Freedom Rest has a nice work out center, several conference rooms, a movie theater room, a game room, outdoor fishing, biking, a pool etc. Since I am military and I am stationed here, I have access as well.  I took a nice dip in the pool and hung out there for a couple of hours.  I checked out the gym and decided that I was going to make the extra effort/distance and start working out over at Freedom Rest.

There had been some rumors floating around that 4 Jul would be a high risk evening when it came to indirect fire.  There was not one “peep” throughout the night, and I am glad/thankful for that.  Although, I swear that I had dreamt that the alarms went off and we received indirect fire.  It was nice not to have “rocket’s red glare and bombs bursting in air” for once.  Happy 4^th Everyone!!

 

9 Jul

Sun setting behind the haze...

            I can’t believe that I have already been here a month.  Time is going by a lot faster here than it did in Afghanistan.  I was able to see pictures of Elise and Gretchen at Schiltterbahn, and family keeps posting videos of Elise on Facebook, so that helps out a lot with the long distance.  It sounds like everyone had a good time this past weekend, which makes me happy, because we truly live in a great country; I miss it quite a bit.  For the past 5 weeks or since I arrived here, we have had a nightly meeting with our two-star concerning transportation issues.  It reminds me a lot of the “Board Room” in the show “The Apprentice.”  All the organizations around Iraq attend through video teleconference, and we are the element that sets up the meeting, makes sure the General gets his slides, and follow up on any open issues.  I mention the Board Room, because some of the organizations have not figured out yet that the General has all the answers.  He asks questions to see how the different organizations will answer and react.  Now, there are a couple of “no-names mentioned” organizations that “Tap Dance” and get very “Flustered” when the General asks particular questions.  He reminds me a lot of “The Donald,” and with this being the 11^th hour, I am pretty sure “You’re Fired” will not be coming out of his mouth anytime soon.

"Big Brother" watching over us...

            It is no surprise and it is in the news everywhere that there are plans to get us out of Iraq by the end of 2011.  However, the “bad guys” want to be able to claim that “victory” and so they continue to “harass us” and people are still dying.  I ask that you keep them the families of those that we have lost in your hearts and prayers.  The news today said that June was the deadliest month in Iraq over the last two years.  I also want to say that we are doing good things, and the fact that “yes” people are dying is still relevant, but our strategic resolve and plan has been working over the last couple of years.  Now that we are in the 4^th quarter “the bad guys” are going to do everything they can to make it look like a “retreat” rather than a withdrawal.  I just pray that the Iraqi government can get their act together and prepare for what is to come after 2011.

"Big RIG" and Lucky Charms

29 Jun

            In Guatemala they called me “Grandote”, at Bolling AFB they called me “LT” or “Hey You!”—(no real nickname there).  At Bagram they called me “STOL Nazi,” and at Maxwell I was known by “CoCo-Motion.”  The folks at my shop decided to give me a name: “Big Rig”...part, because of the fact that we oversee truck movement...hence the “rig”; part comes from the fact that I am a tall guy, and the other part deals with RIG (Rockstar in Guatemala)....I guess they saw my BLOG!!  So, sorry Orions, but CoCo-Motion is no more...(unless of course I come home early).  I think there is some mockery behind it...you don’t find too many Air Force guys working in a joint service logistics office overseeing Army ground transportation.  I don’t mind it; it’s all good fun!!  I will say that they haven’t told me that I am sucking at this job yet, so I must be doing something good :)

            Tonight we had the opportunity of attending a dinner presented by the J4 (our big boss) honoring some wounded warriors.  Due to our nightly ritual however, we could only make the dinner and then we had to leave.  It was at the Joint Visitors’ Building...a 4 star hotel for general officers, situated right on the lake looking out at the Al Faw Palace.  One of the wounded warriors was burnt from head to toe, and had to have skin grafts done all over his body.  I was amazed though, because he was the most funny and optimistic one.  He made one joke: “I would like to apologize to the fact that right now I am “mooning” some of you in this audience,” and “I now have to pick lint out 5 different places on my body.”  It was inspiring to see someone who has went through “HELL” be able to get up and laugh, joke, and make people smile.

           

Day 26

2 Jul

            The other morning I decided to have Lucky Charms for breakfast, which I usually despise them, but I had to give them props, for indeed I was lucky.  The other night I got home from work was skyping with Gretchen and then out of nowhere, I heard a “FWOOOMP.”  Now, you learn quickly around here that one you hear a “FWOOOMP,” there is usually a “BOOOOM” that follows.  From previous experiences here, there have been warning sirens and “incoming, incoming,” but this time I did not get that luxury of a “heads up.”  

R.I.P. KBR trash can

 The “BOOM” shook my entire CHU (house) and Gretchen told me that she could see stuff moving in my room.  A cloud of dust also entered my room and chunks of debris were raining down on my roof; I knew that this one was “too close for comfort.”  At that moment I had to get off of the Skype, so I tried to hang up on her as smoothly as possible, making every indication that I was okay.  She had a pretty rough day that day, and I am thankful that there were friends to console her.  Several mortars landed around base, but one particular one imbedded in a “T-Wall” about 30 yds from my door.  As soon as we got the “all clear”, I went out to see if there was anything I could do to help...mind you, I didn’t know if there were any injuries, rubble, etc.  I ended up getting kicked out of my CHU because they had to cordon off the area.  I decided to go over to the MWR area so I could use the Internet to get back in contact with Gretchen.  I sent her a quick Facebook message and then headed back to the area.  After about two hours, I was able to get back to my room.  I walked over to the site and apparently the only casualty from our mortar was a KBR trash can.  I was a little shook up, so  I listened to an audiobook and fell right to sleep.

30 yds from my door

            I was able to talk to the guy whose CHU was right on the other side of the wall.  He told me that he works the night shift, so that “Boom” gave him a rude awakening.  He told me that upon impact, every door in his room opened up.  I look at this experience and I think, “no big deal, because there were no serious injuries,” but indeed I must say that for about 50 of us that evening, luck was on our side.

We are in July, which means we are getting closer to some high visibility, large movement pieces that requires a lot of oversight on our part.  I am getting accustomed to all the Army acronyms and I may just be getting the hang of Army ground trans.  We will see what challenges July brings.

Feeding the ducks has become part of the daily routine

 

Sea Lion VI and the Green Zone

21 Jun

This is why our munitions did the damage they did...

In every language there is term that people use for procrastination and for getting out of a commitment.  In Iraq (Middle East in general), that word is “Insha’Allah,” which means “God Willing” or “If it’s God’s will.”  It takes me back to my Guatemalan days when all I would hear was “Primero Dios, Primero Dios....si Dios quiere...”  Yes, Allah wants you to have processes set in place so when we get out of here you can take over your own country.  In my opinion, “Insha’Allah” is one of the reasons why these countries are still living in the 15^th Century. 

You can’t just hope for something to happen and then “boom!” the job’s done...you have to apply yourself and commit to “SOMETHING.”  Over the past week or so, I have been working on a project, trying to set in stone a process for all of the contractors here in Iraq.  When most of them came in, the country was not stood up as it is today, meaning there were no institutions like the Ministry of Finance or Trade.  Now that these companies are leaving, the govt of Iraq wants to charge levies for those that have not directly supported the military.  Apparently there was one company (sub-contracted under KBR) that decided to make some money on the side from the Iraqi people.  So, I contact the customs folks trying to figure out the timeline for these companies to turn in all their paperwork and get approved/rejected for a Levy Export Waiver.  I asked how long it would take for them to accomplish the process “cradle to grave” or start to finish.  They told me “1 to 4 days”...okay, that is quite a range.  So, I tried to break down the process into phases, assigning a timeline to each phase.  I get called into my boss’ office and he told me that he liked what I was doing, but I had “ruffled some feathers” over in the Customs office.  They don’t like being committed to a certain time frame.  In addition I was to “cease and desist” all communications to the Iraqis.  Luckily I had only been talking to a representative (KBR employee) that worked along with the Customs office.  I never would have thought that inquiring about a process could cause so much consternation.

 25 Jun

            So, our Navy Capt that works as a liaison officer has been on leave since I got here.  He goes by the name of “Sea Lion VI.”  The story behind his name actually comes from the Commanding General of United States Forces-Iraq (USF-I).  General Lloyd Austin is in charge of all the military forces in Iraq.  Before him was General Odierno, General Patreus, General Casey, etc.  Well, General Austin goes by the call sign of “Lion VI.”  So, the shop decided to give our Navy Capt the call sign of “SEA Lion VI.”  Since he has been gone, I have been driving around his truck, which has helped me out quite a bit.  In fact, I actually call his truck “Sea Lion VI,” which in my opinion it sounds cooler attached to a vehicle rather than a person.  Too bad once we get out west we will lose our vehicles.

  I had a meeting to attend today “outside of the wire,” which for the record I did not realize it was outside of the wire until someone asked me, “well, how are you going to get there?”  Sea Lion VI (F-150 truck) can do many things, but it can’t handle the streets of Baghdad, nor would they even let me drive it off the base.  So, with the help of my “battle Buddy,” Maj Awtrey, we got hooked up in a private security detail convoy, which is basically a bunch of up-armored suburbans.  Their method to the madness of driving in Baghdad is pretty interesting.  The consistently change driving patterns, honk to get people out of the way, and are very observant to possible threats.  Driving on the highway made me feel like I was back in DC.  We had to stop at a couple of checkpoints and our trip there and back was uneventful.

I will say that it was nice to get out of the office and to see new sites.  We got done with our meeting and Maj Awtrey was able to catch up with an old friend from one of his previous deployments.  His friend had been an interpreter for the U.S. military back in ’06.  He now is the lead interpreter for the Minister of Defense.

Interpreter for Iraq Minister of Defense

  He showed us around the FOB told us where to get take some great pictures and he we had some good discussions on the future of Iraq.  It was cool to see (from a distance) downtown Baghdad, the International Zone (IZ), the new Embassy, the Tigris River, and the military training complex with the famous “two swords” statues.  We also got to see the mosque-turned mall.  They basically emptied an old mosque and put a bunch of stores (primarily pirated DVDs) and made an indoor market.  The return to base was uneventful and I got back to work just in time to do my daily ritual: Powerpoint Rangering.

 

From the Land of "CHEAP" Palaces

15 Jun 11

I have finally acclimated from the jet lag and am settling in well here. I still have no room mate...not complaining...and I consistently face power conversion issues due to the fact that AMERICAN plugs do not work here. My lifestyle of eating three square meals a day and working a 9 to 9 shift is a lot different from the last deployment. I am still trying to set out my daily schedule and trying to get some exercise in...so far, not a lot of success.

The J4 building is probably one of the most elegant buildings I have ever worked in...Sorry Deployment Center at Bolling AFB and the School House at Maxwell AFB, but you guys got nothing on the “wanna-be” palace that sits on the lake. I go up a set of spiral marble stairs to get to my office.

The ceilings in these places are so ornate, and I found out recently in a news article that a lot of these palaces were “shoddily” built and they used a lot of cheap supplies. Granted the banister in our building is sort of coming out of the wall, but I thought that was because Saddam’s daughter would ride down it on her way out....apparently not. In fact, it is said that Saddam built the “wanna be” palace for one of his daughters as an apology for killing off her husband...gotta love this place!
Now, with all of its awesomeness, there are a few drawbacks...mainly the restroom situation. I know this may sound a little “Seinfeldesque” but, what is the deal with all of these war-ravaged third world countries that don’t have efficient indoor plumbing??

Looks nice right?

I understand that some locations in Iraq warrant the lack of plumbing, but a palace on a lake in this day and age should have some decent plumbing!! (EXCUSE THE GRAPHIC CONTENT COMING UP...POTTY LANGUAGE MAY BE USED)

Besides, we as the world’s greatest military can drop a bomb on a dime, but when I have to “drop a bomb” at work I have to exit the facility and use a port-o-john....

WHAT!!! Anyway, I drink water like it’s my job so #1 is all I have to worry about for the most part. I guess we will let the Iraqis deal with that problem when we leave ☺

18 Jun 11

We have numerous wildlife around the base; a lot of times when we drive home we come across one or two coyotes. During the day, we see the ducks or geese...not sure what they are.

All you have to do is shake one of those travel cups of cereal and they will come racing from across the way...sometimes it is like they appear out of nowhere. Victory Base is home to “Freedom Rest”, an R&R location for folks to unwind, relax, take a dip in the pool, watch a movie, or knock some golf balls into Saddam’s lake. I would like to check it out before I leave this area, but with the work schedule I have now...not sure if that is going to happen.
 

This week was Lt. Col Becker’s last week, and it has been nice to have almost two full weeks doing turnover. For his going away, we went to this pizza place up by Camp Victory and surprisingly it was delicious pizza. Now, one may say, “how can you go wrong with pizza??” I have been to numerous countries, and believe me sometimes when they say something is pizza...well, it really isn’t. The pizza at “North End Pizza” (where we had his going away) had real mozzarella cheese, the dough was just right...really I have no complaints! Yesterday was his last day, but with the weather the way it was, we are not sure if he flew out. We get these sand/dust storms that really limit visibility for aircraft.
Since I have been here there have been minor IDF (indirect fire) incidents where the alarms go off, but for the most part I have not heard them. Last night I DID hear them. I got off of Skype with Gretchen and was about to go brush my teeth, and I heard the alarms....”INCOMING, INCOMING....” Then there was some counter-fire, which the system ultimately tracks the mortar attack and takes them out mid-air. From what I have been told, most of them land in Saddam’s lake, but the events 2 weeks ago about 20 mi from here still present the reality and danger. In the end it was uneventful, and I am thankful for the technology that gives us a heads up.