LAst days in Iraq and PATTON???

October--November

Okay, so it has been a while since I updated you guys on what was going on.  A lot of that has to do with some transitions going on, and the rest is due to the fact that I have been so busy; I haven’t really had any desire to do anything but sleep, skype with Gretchen and Elise, and relieve stress in any other way.  I have been playing Assassin’s Creed on Xbox, and usually I don’t waste people’s time talking about a video game, but this one has been incredible.  I bring this up because it has helped me reduce a lot of stress, which has been very useful in the last month.  Another experience that I got to have was meeting the ground crew for the Air National Guard F-16 squadron that we have here.  A couple of months ago, the head logistics Col of the Iraq Air Component (USAF Col) and I were talking about career progression, the RAS program, and Bolling AFB...(he was stationed at Andrews and he knew almost everyone I knew over there).  

 I really like this Col, and if I have to extend for a longer time period here, and he offered me to go work with him, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Anyway, he mentioned that there were some F-16’s coming in, said that he would like to take some of the J4 staff out there to see them.  As busy as he is, we thought that this was just a nice gesture, but the other day (as I was packing up my computers and other office equip), he showed up and said we could go out there in the mid morning.  I really respect him for that, because like I said, we were all busy, and he found the time to do that for us...like I said...GREAT guy!!

            Most of you know that I basically work for a strategic-level-glorified “Two men and a truck.”  Our two men are various staffs at different levels and our trucks happen to be more than “one”, because you need more than one to get all of this stuff out of here.  I have also been put in charge of prepping and staging a nightly brief for the general.  On top of the brief, now I have been tasked to do a summary of that brief, so the General can pass info up to his bosses.  

 IT really is not that hard as long as people are reporting right numbers, but lately the stats have not been adding up and I have been put under more pressure to make sure we get the most accurate information.  There was one point where the 2 star general and his deputy were hovering over me making sure that I was using the correct numbers…micro management at its finest.  Now, if I make one tiny mistake I have to go through the whole thing with my boss (Lieutenant Col) to make sure that it is PERFECT. 

  I feel like I am back in high school walking through an Algebra problem with the teacher…not a Captain in the USAF.  That’s okay, because from other historical military experiences, it was the anal-retentive micro-management of leaders that paved the way to success…I have to accept that under such heavy scrutiny and pressure, leaders HAVE TO make sure that something is done right.

            So, it is “MOVEMBER,”

2 weeks after the genesis of "Ricky Joe II"

which means I am growing a mustache…”Grandote con un Bigote.”  My poor attempt of growing a mustache is just another activity to pass the time, and I have been looking forward to Movember since July, when I shaved the “beginning of deployment ‘stache.”  It is hard to believe that I have been here now for 5 months; time has gone by pretty quickly, and I am excited about being back for Christmas.  We will have to be creative to make Thanksgiving fun and enjoyable, and we have more resources here in Kuwait than we had up in Iraq.  The worst part is with the transition, we had to say “good-bye” to some of our fellow comrades who were going home or getting re-missioned to another location.  Good-bye to the Ghetto Canal All-Ranks Club,

It's not a party until a table breaks in half!!

Good-bye to the College Football Meat-A-Palooza, and Good-bye to Iraq as a whole.  We still get the loud booms and gun fire in Kuwait, but that is coming from the training range. 

            My new “digs” come with several roommates…something that I am not very used to.  We live in barrack-type settings that have a set of 3 bunk beds in the room…intended for (up to) 4 people.  Right now there are three of us, but I did have the room to myself for a good 4 days.  We wake up in the morning (6am) to Reveille followed by the theme song from “Patton.”  The 3^rd Army resides here (Patton’s Army), and I am assuming that they got the rights of Jerry Goldsmith to play that song every morning.  At first it was kind of cool, but after several days, it has kind of reached that level of annoyance.

"Storm's a Comin'" and "LEAP"

1 Oct

     

What keeps me going every day...

My workouts have been very sporadic, but one thing that has been constant is my Monday morning run.  It started off at 4 miles, then we up'd it to 6 miles, then we up'd it to 8.5 miles.  This next Mon, the plan is to run over 9 miles.  There is an Army 10-miler next Sun, but I don't plan on running in it.  However, it is nice to know that I could easily do it.  My workouts have been sporadic because I am just so tired after work, and before work the gym is packed.  I am trying to grab a sandwich at breakfast, workout during lunch and then eat afterwards in the office.  So far I have been able to do this a couple of times a week.

Not a good idea to go running when this happens...

    Now that we are in October, stuff will really be heating up and we are going to be pretty busy.  This is good, because it should make time go really FAST!  Yesterday we had a commander's call with the 467 Air Expeditionary Group, who are in charge of us administratively.  They talked about the different issues that have been going on,  promoted a couple of NCO's, and answered some questions.  Nothing really came from it, but it was confirmed that unless I was an F-16 pilot with Joint Operations Center experience, there is no requirement in Afghanistan.  That kind of put me at ease, but at the same time I am preparing for whatever it is that the Air Force Gods have planned for me following mission completion here.


Some have asked what my job is like here in Iraq?  Well, all I can say is that it is a "staff" job, and I found this article really explains at best what I do.  Kudos to this Col for speaking his mind.  Granted , he should not have put this out in AP news, but at the least it really does highlight the few, the proud "Powerpoint Rangers" at their best...Too bad he got fired from his job in Afghanistan...

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=upiUPI-20100823-112700-2345&show_article=1

7 Oct

The weather is changing...and change is a good thing.  We are now experiencing days with highs of maybe 90 degrees.  I know that sounds extreme, but when you go from 120 + degree weather to 90 degrees, you can definitely feel the difference.  

coming over the ridge...

If you look closely you can see a face...

 The other day we had a sand/dust storm.  I decided to go and work out at lunch time, and when I walked into the gym, the sky was cloudless and a rich blue.  After my hour workout I returned back to my CHU and as I looked at the ridge, I could see billowing clouds approaching the ridge.  It looked like something out of "The Mummy" movie, and it just kept getting closer and closer.  I changed back into my uniform and as I looked out the window I noticed that everything was orange.  I have been in snow storms, hail storms, even sugar cane "ash" storms, but I have never been in a sand/dust storm.   

A little dust in the lungs is good for the body....right??

You just felt so nasty and dirty by the end of the day that you have to take a shower before going to bed.  It was around dinner time that the visibility was almost nothing.  You could look out and maybe see 5 yards in front of you...it also affected things like internet, AFN TV, etc.  I did take some pretty cool pictures and now I can check off the "spend a day in a sand storm" box on my TO DO list.

    I found out yesterday that I was accepted in the Language Enabled Airmen Program (LEAP).  I am pretty excited about this, because the military will help me improve my Spanish language skills.  Every so often they will put me on TDY (basically a trip) to go to a Spanish-speaking country to attend a university, visit the embassy, etc. to improve and practice my Spanish speaking.  I have the responsibility of undergoing an E-Mentor program where I have to dedicate so much time a week to online courses, exercises, etc.  In addition, I now receive a skill indicator on my record that will allow the assignment folks to know that I speak Spanish for future assignments/deployments.  Now with that, I am also trying to get into the Regional Affairs Strategist (RAS) program, which will allow me to use my

Spanish language (or learn another language) to work with Embassies/Attaches in a specific region of the world.  How it would work is I would do a RAS assignment for a couple of years and then I would come back and do a Logistics Readiness Officer (LRO) assignment.  It would keep alternating between the two until I retire.  If I get this program, I will be spending close to three years in Monterrey, CA attending Defense Language Institute (DLI) and the Naval Post-Graduate School (NPS), which would mean that I get another Master's, knock out my professional military education (PME), and really be where I have wanted to be since joining the military.  I will find out in Dec/Jan if I get into the program or not.

"Indecision Makers" and "Karaoke Night"

18 Sep

A visit from Gen Helmick...LTC Pederson got a coin from him in recognition of all of his hard work

I am a very religious person.   I believe in latter-day prophets, I have a strong belief in God and how he has a plan for my family and me, and I believe in modern day revelation; what I don't believe in are the strategic decision makers, or what I would like to call them...the "indecision makers." Our situation can be compared to the following scenario: You are getting ready to move in a couple of weeks, the Household Goods movers are coming in the next couple of days.  Out of nowhere you get a call from your relatives...apparently they want to come and see you. and
they are bringing all of their essentials with them as well.  

So, what do you do?  You move the stuff that you need plus their stuff into the pool house so the movers can come get your stuff.  Ultimately, you are trying to get out of there, but the forces that be keep putting sending in more stuff." just in case."  

I am sure that you guys get my drift, and without getting into the "secret squirrel" stuff, that is basically what is going on.  It is a little frustrating, especially when we are trying to put in motion our most efficient processes...sometimes I think it is all for naught.
    Happy Birthday US Air Force!  Kudos to all of those who ran in the Marathon/Half-Marathon yesterday.  My plan is to try and run 10 miles or so on Mon; I know it is not a half, but hey!  I am in the desert and deployed so there!  Being assigned with the Army makes me really appreciate the Air Force.  Don't get me wrong, the Air Force isn't perfect, but I prefer the AF way of doing business over the Army any day of the week. 

                                             24 Sep

CPT Rodgers doing his Phil Collins thang!!

                So, in honor of the Don't Ask Don't Tell Repeal on Thursday, I participated in Karaoke Night at Al Asad.  I figured, "now my co-workers can't beat me up and I can finally come out of the [Karaoke/Musical Theater] closet."  There is actually some background to the reason why I went to Karaoke night.  Our Director likes to task Maj Awtrey with all sorts of absurd tasks: from coming up with ridiculous powerpoint slides to make fun of our previous J4 Deputy, to creating T-shirts that revolve around inside jokes that no one else would get.  This week, he wanted Maj Awtrey to take the song "Imagine" by John Lennon and change the lyrics to make it about Iraq Retrograde (AKA getting out of Iraq).  Maj Awtrey is very creative and he came up with new lyrics in about 30 min.  I looked over it and I jokingly commented, "we should perform this at Karaoke Night and dedicate it to Col Kramer (our Director)."  Well, the seed was planted and I decided to go through with it. I was a little worried though, because I had never done the karaoke version and we were wondering if it would fit.  To my surprise it fit perfectly and the audience loved it!  

          The MWR guys want me to come back next week and do it again at the Al Asad Karaoke Competition.  I will also say that there were about 30 people there and we had a blast!!  That was probably the most fun I have had since I have been here; everyone (of all different ranges of talent) got up there and just had fun.
         One of our IT guys decided to put the video of it on the shared drive, and Maj Awtrey (graciously) sent out the link to everyone in the J4, so everyone was razzing me yesterday about it.  At the same time, they thought it was really cool and brave that I got up there and performed that version.  Col Kramer actually gave me a "kudos" today. 

It's like B"Dubs" (Buffalo Wild Wings) at the Weekly "Ghetto Canal College Football Meatsapalooza"

"AAFES Conspiracy" and "9/11"

5 Sep 11

So, I have a huge conspiracy theory in the works in regards to the Army and Air Force Exchange Services (AAFES) Company.  See, everything from the Burger King to the Chaffa DVD store is a cash cow for AAFES.  In Afghanistan, even the Bazaar was an AAFES money maker.  Today, I purchased meat for our BBQ on Saturday.  On the price tag it had the price of the meat, but then on a separate sticker it had a higher price...guess which amount I paid??  

Something as wrong as pirated DVD movies/TV shows in the States is okay here, because AAFES provides the "top cover."  In the PX/BX.(whatever you want to call it).there are magazines that are borderline "pornographic" material, but it's okay because AAFES sells it.  We have a General Order that prohibits that type of material in the AOR, but if AAFES sells it, well then, it's okay.  I think sometimes they don't allow stuff like that in the AOR, because it then forces out-of-touch, "sexually deprived" soldiers, airmen, marines, etc. to purchase the items at the BX/PX, you should see the crowd that congregates around the magazine racks.

It's Football time!!!

It's September and that means Football is right around the corner.  I am getting ready to be a part of two Fantasy Football leagues, which will be a little difficult, because I can't do any live drafts because of the "awesome" internet that I have.  For our league at work, we have to do a manual draft, so I have to create a list of potential players...we will see how it goes.  Gretchen and I will also play in our league from last year.  I haven't seen anything from the Orions though...I thought Eddie Pineda was going to organize something??  Oh well, having the football season (both college and NFL) really help the weeks go by quick. I continue to see news coverage on the hurricanes and now the fires in Texas.  There is some crazy stuff going on in the world right now.  I pray that everyone is okay and that these events will pass without causing too much damage/injury.

 11 Sep

Today was the 10th Anniversary of 9/11, and thankfully it was uneventful here.  Although it was a Sunday, we were still doing the same old, same old...briefing slides, going to meetings, etc.  With it being Sunday, I did only have to work half the day, which that was nice.  10 years ago I was in the jungles of Guatemala residing in a small town called Tiquisate.  It was mail day and I remember the missionaries that were picking up the mail knocking on our door, saying that the Two Towers had fallen.  At first I thought he was talking about the twin water towers 

"Twin Towers" in Tiquisate, Guat

("Las Torres Gemelas") that were close to our neighborhood, and I thought at the time that surely we would have heard that.  Then it dawned on me...he was talking about the towers in the United States.  Granted, I was not afforded the continuous updates and horrific scenes broadcasted over TV, radio, newspaper, etc, and I felt in the dark as far as knowing the status of family, friends, etc.  It was terrifying in the fact that I did not know what was going on in my country, and I knew in that moment that my service to God would quickly transition to service to my country.

Here we are 10 years later and I am at the heart of one of the largest military operations in history.  I am truly grateful for those that sacrificed their lives 10 years ago, but I don't want to forget those that have taken the fight to the enemy and have made the sacrifices that make our country stronger and more resilient to things like 9/11.  

Part of our 9/11 activities was having our weekly "Ghetto Canal Saturday Night Football Meatapalooza," where we grilled some burgers, steaks, brats, and watched some good 'ol college football.  The main game we were watching was Auburn vs. Mississippi State.  When we started this thing, it was Maj Awtrey and me taking the idea from one that we attended at VBC on Sunday nights.  We had a showing of 20+ people, which is really cool, because we have folks from different shops and it allows us to network and get to know people better.  It makes for a nice milestone amongst all of the Groundhog Days.

The "Finer Things" in the Deployment Life

"Abraham's Oasis" and "Survivors of EDSB"

28 Aug 11

           

We have had a lot of "BAD IDEA" fairies lately...it is nice that a "GOOD IDEA" one comes along every so often...

            As we draw closer to Sept, it seems that I just get busier and busier.  We found out today that starting the beginning of September we would go to nightly briefs again.  So, I need to take advantage of those nights that I don’t have the brief.  In honor of the nightly Equipment Drawdown Synchronization Board (EDSB), I have made a Facebook  fan page called “Survivors of EDSB.”  I truly believe that those who have to endure this daily brief until “who knows when” should be named the Survivors of EDSB.

 

           

Today I had the opportunity of going to see Abraham’s well or oasis, which according to folklore, it was used by Abraham as a rest stop between his journeys from Ur (Basrah) up to Canaan.  It makes sense because it is very close to the Euphrates river, and Abraham most likely would have followed the river to have the resources available in the desert.  It is a small pond that is surrounded by an Iraqi military base, a small village, a soccer field (with real grass) and a gazebo that is off-limits to U.S. personnel.  They consider the ground (grass) around the oasis as sacred ground, so they asked that we not step on it.  It was pretty cool getting outside the base and seeing something that not many folks get to see.

This is where Abraham got his "fut" on while the camels were hydrating

Right before I ran through the electro-shock at the Tough Mudder

            In church this evening, I had the opportunity of giving a talk on “Enduring to the End.”  I mentioned the Tough Mudder experience and how we have to go through some hard times, but at the end of the finish line are blessings that we have waiting.  For me, seeing Gretchen and Elise after that 13 mile course was one of the best feelings in the world.  I understand that tough times are ahead, but having the means to endure through those times makes it all worth it.

1 Sep 11

            I had quite a surprise today.  During our afternoon staff meeting, I was presented a Joint Service Achievement Medal (JSAM), for the work I did throughout the month of June.  My boss LTC Pederson put me up for the award.  This was the same award I got for 6 months of work in Afghanistan.  I told Gretchen that I am very fortunate to have good leadership here.  See, most people expect an award at the end of their tour, and for the most part, if you show up to work during your time deployed, you will automatically get an award based off your rank.  To take the time and recognize performance and give credit where credit is due, now that is true LEADERSHIP.

            Tomorrow is when we start up the nightly briefs again.  This means two things: 1) my life is going to get really busy and somewhat stressful and 2) time is going to go by really fast.  I find it interesting that shortly after I had prepared my talk on Enduring to the End, I got the announcement of the Return of the Nightly EDSB.  I will truly have to take some of the points that I had talked about and apply them to my experience.  I hear from Gretchen that Elise is growing daily and being cute as ever.  I do miss both of them a lot, but I also know that there is a reason why I am here.  With our daily discussions on Skype, Gretchen and I have some big decisions to make in the near future.  I appreciate the prayers and concerns that are offered to my family and me.  I also appreciate the service that has been rendered and offered to help out Gretchen and Elise.

"Fear Factor" and "TV-Gate"

16 Aug 11

Talk about FALSE advertising

            So I found out last Saturday that my “fear factor” is untying knots.  Who knew, an Eagle Scout that couldn’t untie some simple 550-parachute cord?  The MWR hosted the Fear Factor, but I must say that it was more like the Double Dare physical challenge portion meets Man vs. Food.  The first round consisted of the 2 blind folded team members lifting a stretcher with the other team member sitting in the stretcher holding a pail full of water.  Since me and the other team member were blind folded, we had to listen to the guy holding the water to direct us where to go.  We had to worry about time and the guy on the stretcher could not spill any water. We made it to the second round, but our team was cut short due to my inability to untie knots.

            The next round consisted of me running over to a trashcan filled with ice water and t-shirts tied up by 550-parachute cord.  The answer was untying the knots, but I took a different more idiotic approach.  I tried to pull the shirt out of its prison of knots and only ended up making the knots tighter and impossible to untie.  Upon completion of this portion, my other team mate then would commence tossing ping pong balls towards the other member who had a clipboard secured around his “groinal” are; the intent was for this member to move their hips trying to bounce the ping pong balls off the clipboard into a bucket...but we did not get that far.

            That is okay, because there is no way that we would have made it past the 3^rd round.  Teams had to take turns spinning around a baseball bat (20X), and then run to the far side of the room, put their faces in some weird spaghetti mixture to find a ball to pick up with their mouth and then run to the other side to drop it off on a plate.  This one was funny, because guys were getting so dizzy, one actually ran out the exit door on accident.  The next event after that was probably my favorite to watch.  It was called the Port-O-John, and one member of the team got up on a ladder with a bottle of some sort of concoction (pretty sure there was blended sardines and other surprises in there).  The other two members had to run down to the ladder, open up their mouths, and the team member on the ladder (about 5 ft up) poured the concoction into the other member’s mouth.  Once his mouth was full then he ran over and spit it out in a cup.  The two team members took turns doing this until the cup was full.

Port-O-John

            Finally, the main event was the Baby Shaker, which was a plate of food??...not sure if you would call it that.  Looked like Vienna sausages covered with something, and a mixture of other things.  One team member would have to eat off the plate (without the use of hands) and another member could provide him water, but that was it.  Once they completed the plate of food, then they had to drink this “nasty” looking shake.  In the end, a team of Navy folks prevailed against a team of Army folks.  I am still convinced that if the “J Team” would have had a Navy guy, we could have taken it all.

All in all, it was a good time and everyone was having fun.  For a split-second I did not feel like I was in Iraq.

Baby Shaker

20 Aug 11

            People, People, everywhere…so many people in fact that the chow halls are getting really full.  They actually have a bus that can shuttle you over to another Chow Hall because the one is so packed.  Supposedly, the other one is quite empty from what I hear. ..I may just have to start getting my meals to go.  The gym is ALWAYS packed…no matter what time you go, at least 15-30 people will be there.  The building we have on the complex is kind of small, so it fills up quick.  This last week has honestly been a blur…really can’t report on much going on.  I will say that for the last couple of Mondays I have partaken in what has become to be known as the “Dessert Run.”  You may be thinking…”doesn’t he mean Desert Run?”  I say dessert, because it is quite a treat to accomplish.  It is a 5 ½ mile run along the airfield area of the base and there is an overall elevation increase of 100 ft.  When we first ran it, it was pretty brutal, but now it has become an every Monday routine for me.  It really starts the week off on the right foot…no pun intended.

One of the many people looking for the A/V input...stupid European TV's

The other day I had to give up my “Man Card” because of a “TV-Gate”. “TV-Gate” has been an on-going struggle for our office to get a TV so we can watch news, listen to briefs, etc.  The TV that they originally gave use was switched for another TV.  Now, it was confirmed by like 5 of us in the office that this TV did not have a coaxial input, which means that we could not plug in the cable for AFN.  So, we raised our concern, and we were told that it would get resolved.  After several weeks of “trying to resolve” the issue, it was decided that we would just switch TVs with the J4 Deputy Director.  When the TV was taken down, the MSG who was working our issues found the input for the cable.  Since it is a European TV, the coaxial input is in the TV and you have to buy an adapter (which costs less than $1) to be able to plug in the cable.  Long story short…I was the technology, electronics guy, and I was not able to identify the input, which led to a lot of confusion, and unnecessary actions.  I told my director that I had just got back from the Deputy J4’s office, where I had left my “Man Card” on his desk.  I mean connecting a TV to cable is like Man 101…

Returning from Chow...

"Taking the J4's Name in Vain" and "The Dropkick List"

This is the military staying "Ahead of the Curve"...

 

8 Aug

            So, a couple of us are getting ready for the FEAR FACTOR showcase that will happen this Saturday.  I have no earthly idea what they are going to use...I just hope it doesn't involve snakes or clowns.  Actually, to win another Xbox Kinect/360, I would probably do about anything.  As more and more people get here, the more things are popping up.  Church attendance has increased by 100%....7 people to 14 people.  The lines at the chow hall are now twice as long, and with more leadership in the building, our vacation time is over. Saturday nights are now our Xbox nights (for us Capts and Majors anyway).  The pool changed its hours so it opens up some time to play some Call of Duty...hey, at least I am not doing that for real.  I was going to the pool on Sat nights, but now with the changed schedule, I will have to put that on some other day.

It's funny because his head is a "monitor"

            Since, LTC Pederson left on his 3 week R&R, LTC Standridge, Maj Squizzero and I have been pretty busy; mostly putting out unnecessary fires.  Once again, we have cases where people are taking the J4's (Major General Richardson) name in vain.  "Hey, this needs to be moved because the J4 said so..."  Yeah, I don't play that game, because if the J4 was that insistent about moving something, it would have been filtered down to my level.  With more people also comes computer frustration.  The other day, one of our really good computer guys was fired, because he could not meet the needs of a GS-14.  Supposedly he was rude to her, and "she told someone who told someone" and it got back to his boss' boss.  We tried to talk to the supervisor, saying that this was a horrible injustice, but I guess a GS-14's word (which is equivalent to a senior Maj/LTC...not a lot of rank at all) is what determined this guy's future. That type of crap really makes me upset, and I let people know that in my chain of command.

                                                                                                                                    12 Aug

I have instituted what I would like to call a weekly "Drop Kick" List.  This is a way that I release stress and identify who has really made me mad and has made my life suck the past week.  It is all fun and games, and I would share the list here, but you could be on it....J/K; I don't think many of you would get it, because most of them are inside jokes.  It has made folks in the office chuckle, because they know how frustrating people/organizations can be.  For the most part, we have good working relationships with organizations around us, but there are a couple "mental midgets" (as Maj Squizzero likes to say) that really make our life hard.  Well, at least I am not getting shot at or blown up...life could be worse right? 

"You'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to."

            I feel so blessed to have a loving family and a job when I get home.  There are a lot of reservists/National Guard that have no problem extending their tour, because it is a secure job.  I run into KBR folks from church that are looking at transferring over to Afghanistan, because opportunities here are
drying up in the next couple of months.  I will say, it is hard to believe that I have completed over 2 months now and as I maintain a busy work schedule, the time seems to go by quick.  Many have asked, "Are you coming home early?"  Let me just say that if they give me the choice, I would definitely choose going home early.  That is about all I know right now. 

Maybe the USPS will let me have this??